Greenbank v Welton Sunday 6th April 2008 venue Cowpaddle number 4 kick off 10:45:
Welton again made the arduous trek to the cow paddle to face hapless Greenbank in confident mood after smashing todays hosts for 10 (ten) on the opening day of the season. However starting today’s game in 4th place in the premier league Weltons lowest league position of the season, Big Als men knew that only another massacre would do.
Team news
Welton had a few minor injuries to worry about ahead of today’s fixture with Luke Clifford ruled out with a dead leg and both Spital street residents pulling up with injuries at training. Neither Carter nor Drabble were risked and both were told to rest up for the forthcoming fixture pile up including the cup final and next weeks semi at Nettleham. Big Al was able to call up three more than capable stand ins though with Dhindsa replacing Carter in defence and Curtis starting upfront and also a starting place for Tom Wilkinson in midfield. Welton went with Mayhem in goal; back three of S Clifford Taylor and Dhindsa across the middle were Bowey Wilkinson, Coupland, Gordon and Stocks and a new partnership up front of Curtis and Ward. Stripped and ready to go on the bench were Mulhall, Daley and Craig Wilkinson.
Welton kicked off attacking the gypo end and looked lively from the first whistle but frustratingly were unable to find a killer ball and at times players failed to get their shot away. Weltons frustration didn’t last for long though with the first goal coming on 10 minutes. Sam Gordon had taken up a position on the left hand side and skipped his way past two hapless Greenbank defenders, Gordon released a low drive which squirmed under the comical Greenbank goalkeeper. This was to be the first of several hilarious incidents involving the Greenbank keeper who was instantly dubbed the clown by the vocal travelling Welton supporters. Welton continued to frustrate their supporters by squandering more good chances before Mark Curtis took it upon himself to take on the whole of the Greenbank defence and slam a low drive under the clown. The next goal of the game was truly memorable. After Tom Wilkinson was hacked down on the edge of the area for a Welton free kick Ross Taylor stepped up and curled the ball over the wall. To the amazement of everyone The Clown made a save he even managed to hold onto the ball, the clown then sent a huge punt down field which Dhindsa appeared to be dealing with only for Mayhem to call keepers planting the seed of doubt in Dhindsas mind. Mayhem then proceeded to hack down Dhindsa who was now under pressure from the Greenbank number 10 who stole in and slotted into the empty net as Mayhem and Dhindsa layed on the bowling green like turf. ABSOLUTE MAYHEM! Having been upstaged by Mayhem at the other end The clown pulled out his greatest trick of the Morning by charging from his goal flapping at a cross then somehow diving over the ball near the penalty spot the ball somehow ran straight to Gordon who gleefully passed the ball into the net to make it 3 1. Moments before half time the Greenbank centre backs sold each other short on the halfway line allowing Twiggy to intercept and skip forward towards the clown in goal who appeared to almost lay down and invite Twiggy to score which he did beautifully shinning the ball into the top corner. Half time 4 1 Welton.
Second half
The second half was one way traffic from the start with Welton flooding forward time after time. Weltons dominance however was not turning into goals much to the annoyance of some of the Welton faithful. The inevitable 5th came through Gordon who again profited from unbelievable “goalkeeping” as the clown somehow managed to end up in the middle of nowhere the ball again fell at Gordons feet who coolly lobbed over the retreating joker for his deserved hat trick. In an unbelievable show of sportsmanship from Welton the Mole charged out onto the pitch to attend to a wounded Greenbank defender. The referee called over to the Welton bench for assistance in treating the stricken warrior and Moley was only to happy to race on and expertly administer a course of freeze spray to the defenders hamstring. With more and more chances being squandered by Welton Big Al saw fit to make a change bringing on fan favourite Moley in place of Dhindsa much to the delight of the 6 fans who had massed on the step ladder and Scott Coupland who gave the Mole a heroes reception. Minutes later Bowey made it 6 drilling the ball low to the clowns right. This was Boweys last action of the game as Big Al withdrew him and Wilkinson to be replaced by Craig Wilkinson and the evergreen Daley. The floodgates were straining at the hinges to stay shut but they were forced wide open when Ward made it 7 from close range after an effort from Mole landed at Wards feet for him to tap home. The 8th wasn’t long in coming either with Ward getting a quick fire 2nd when he brilliantly headed a Mark Curtis cross back across the goal from 12 yards out. The humiliation of being beaten by a Ward header proved too much for the clown who ripped his gloves of and came out pitch wearing a questionable pair of tracksuit bottoms. The impressive Wilkinson would then get his name on the score sheet blasting home his first goal for the social from the edge of a crowded penalty area the goal was greeted by a thunderous chant of shopping bags from the step ladder. Welton were not finished there though and neither was Gordon who scored his fourth in an almost identical situation to Wilkinsons strike Gordon buried a shot in off the post to make it 10. The new man in nets for Greenbank became the third comical goalkeeper of the day when he and his left back collided on the corner of the area the loose ball was gathered by Ward who grabbed his hat trick passing into the empty net. All in all a very amusing morning at the circus paddle for the Welton faithful who saw a satisfactory performance from Welton the scoreline perhaps doesn’t tell the whole story but without playing at their very best Welton could and should have had 20.
Final score Greenbank 1 Welton S&SC 11 (eleven)
Ratings
Mayhem (6) a spectator for the most part. Comical error
Dhindsa (7) composed performance.
S Clifford (7) dependable as ever. guilty of overplaying it at times
Taylor (8) never lost concentration
Stocks (7) some sloppy passing but another strong performance from the skipper
Gordon (9) frustrating at times but four goals from midfield speaks for itself
Curtis (8) ran the defence ragged in the second half
T Wilkinson (7) industrious display. 60 minutes under his belt
Bowey (7) indifferent performance always a threat though
Coupland (7) always looking for the ball, poor finishing cost him.
Ward (8) fox in the box
Subs
Mulhall (7) solid display when he came on.
Daley (8) intelligent use of the ball
C Wilkinson (8) pushing for a start took his goal well.